on parenting and dying

I have so many thoughts, so many things going on right now that I desperately need to write about just to help me process a bit.  But I'll start with what I feel is most pressing in my mind: parenting my children and my uncle's diagnosis of a wide-spread cancer which is inoperable.
It's been a whirlwind few months though in some ways it has felt like an eternity, since bringing our sweet one home from Ethiopia.  Today was her 15 month check-up, Nathan took her so I could have a date with Isaac because he was needing some time with just his Emayah and no little sister. Nathan said Aniyah has gained 3 pounds in the past 2 months and is almost 1/2" taller. She's got a ways to go, but is doing very well developmentally. Still not walking, but loves to try. No real words yet, but is associating certain things with certain words. We're very proud of her and impressed by her.  Still, I admit, it's hard. She has come from a hard place, she needs A LOT, and it hasn't been an easy adjustment (which we are all still going through). Overall, it's been wonderful, she is doing beautifully. But parenting is both fun/rewarding/beautiful and exhausting/hard/demanding, often at the same time. I feel like I might lose my mind, then feel overwhelmed with love for my kids the next moment. It truly is a daily surrendering of myself. My worst days are days I do not start by giving it to God, or praying to Him throughout the day, but rather try to rely on myself. Fail. Big time. I'm learning I cannot do this alone. I need him, EVERY SECOND. Although Aniyah is beyond precious, sweet, adorable, she has a will and is very needy (as all 1 year old's are), and so I am embracing, as John said "He must become greater, I must become less." (John 3:30) My selfishness is so ugly. It's a demon I must daily fight off with the Spirit's power.
Now a bit about my uncle.
My family learned of some devastating news back in early December. Some horrific sin that had crept into my uncle's life and been present for at least 8 years. He is a godly man, one I have always looked up to and admired for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact he raised his three children on his own since my aunt died after a battle with cancer sometime when I was in high school (my cousins were 11, 7, and 9 years old at the time). They are all grown and married, still in their 20's. My uncle's sin caused great hurt, feelings of betrayal, anger, and also sorrow for all who know him, especially my cousins, and he was asked to immediately resign from his position at his church where he was a minister, and moved in w/ my aunt and uncle in Little Rock. Last week, after several weeks of having trouble eating and swallowing, he went to a gastro specialist and had his esophagus scoped. The dr called him the next day with the lab results: advanced/stage 4 esophagus cancer, and somehow it was discovered there were also spots on his lungs that were questionable. He was quickly admitted to the hospital (this was Wednesday or Thursday of last week), and had his first round of chemo and radiation Friday morning. Nathan and I had already planned a weekend to visit the cousins to show them love and support as best we could in regards to the hurt they'd experienced from learning of my uncle's sin, but we went anyway to offer help and support to them through this next crisis. As it stands today, my uncle received his second round of chemo (the dr pushed it up so to be more aggressive w/ the cancer and to hopefully stop the growth in his lungs so he can breathe), but he had to be sedated and is on a ventilator. Yesterday, today and Friday are crucial to see if his body will respond to the chemo, and what the next steps need to be.
 (I will say that I have so much sin in my life that it's just ugly, and so I will not judge or condemn my uncle for his. Nor do I think that some sin is worse than others, some just have seemingly bigger consequences and ramifications.)
My prayer is for God to show mercy. Mercy so his kids can have more time with him. Mercy and a miraculous healing so God will be glorified. To God alone be all the glory in all things, both in my parenting which is a joy and a gift to have such great kids, and also in my family, my uncle's life and my cousin's lives.  These things make our need for our King and Savior so so evident.