when someone lets you know they are moving, and you are close, you have options. You can either chose to slowly, somewhat deliberately though quite often rather unintentionally, start to disengage from that person, kind of as a self-preservation of sorts, to protect your heart and emotions as someone you love moves on and your relationship is no longer how is currently is. The other option is to press in, continue to love, continue to do what you can to develop and nurture that relationship, knowing that the foundation you have with that person will remain, even if the geographical location changes. Clearly, one of the most notable aspects of our move was that all of our closest friends chose the latter. Our friends continued to engage with us, to invest in us, to spend time with us, to nurture and care for us, and we embraced it whole-heartedly, knowing our time with our dear friends was limited in Muskogee. This was huge for me as I had a pretty negative experience 10 years ago with my closest friend at the time when I moved from Chicago down to Muskogee. She told me she knew we wouldn't be as close after I moved, which was true but didn't have to be true in the whole-sense. I had several friends from high school and college that I had remained very close to, despite the distance and so I knew it was still possible to continue a meaningful friendship. This friend went on to explain she had a hard time "detaching" from people. Don't we all. If we are honest with ourselves and don't try to muffle those small (or huge) voices that say separating from those we care about hurts! I get it, I don't fully blame my friend. But her purposeful distancing herself from me was pretty crushing. When I made a trip to visit her, she said things like "hmmm, let me think about what part of my life I want to share with you." As if it needed to be so formulated and calculated, as if she would need to keep some things from me after we had been best friends and shared so many memories together and even lived together for over a year! It was painful. Therefore, this time around, I am abundantly and forever grateful to my friends. These deep and meaningful relationships will last, even if they look different, even as we navigate what our friendships look like now and in the years to come, I know that we have a solid foundation, and I credit so much of it to these friends who keep investing and didn't push us away. They didn't treat us differently. They didn't withdrawal. They didn't exclude us. They continued to invite us over, have get-togethers, go out to eat, have date nights with Nathan and I, and post-bedtime Rook nights. They threw us a going-away party, and the day before we left town a big birthday party for Ezra (as an excuse to all get together one last time).
I always think of Psalm 133 when I think about how very good it is to have such depth of friendships like we have in Muskogee. "How GOOD and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down upon the collar of his robes. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore."
I will always give thanks to the Lord for his faithfulness to us in our friendships. The grace he poured out to us through them and the love we have experienced through them, is like none other. It will never be replaced. Thank you so much to all of our friends in Muskogee.
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